Without a doubt this year has been full of challenges for me. Financial, physical, emotional, you name it. Sometimes I have to sit back and remind myself that it’s only February! Though recently I’ve been struggling with my weight loss goals and my “Glow up Diaries”, my journey to being the first person in my family to obtain a bachelors degree has also been up in the air. Now if I’m being completely honest with myself, I dropped the ball a few times over the past few years. Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with confidence and believing in myself, and when you are struggling through a bought of depression sometimes you’re lazy and you lose sight of your goals. This was the case for me recently when I had to withdraw from one of my classes and fell a credit short of graduation requirements. Fortunately for me I have the opportunity to participate in my graduation ceremony this June with my class, and then finish my degree with a summer class of my choice. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.
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(This donut picture was my first assignment as a student at Knox College. The assignment revolves around finding beauty or making art out of everyday silly things...a moment of reflection)
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I felt like a total and complete failure. Then something happened this morning at my internship. For the past two months I’ve been working as an Hospice aide. My job is to improve the daily lives of those who are dying. And up until today I didn’t really get the full picture. Today I met and interacted with a young woman with severe cerebral palsy. At this stage in her life she is completely bed ridden, and struggles to communicate. Everyday she is in a crazy amount of pain, and I actually witnessed her reduced to tears during the first few minutes of our visit, it was heartbreaking. But her spirit and willingness to be grateful was infectious. I suddenly became aware of my own selfishness, how could I be so ungrateful? Here I am, a healthy 23 year old woman about to graduate from college with the rest of my life ahead of me and I’m feeling sorry for myself. I felt ashamed and heartbroken. I need to make a change. But it has to be a change that I will stick to....I’ll keep you posted.
Love,
Alayna
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(This donut picture was my first assignment as a student at Knox College. The assignment revolves around finding beauty or making art out of everyday silly things...a moment of reflection)
. . . . . . . .
I felt like a total and complete failure. Then something happened this morning at my internship. For the past two months I’ve been working as an Hospice aide. My job is to improve the daily lives of those who are dying. And up until today I didn’t really get the full picture. Today I met and interacted with a young woman with severe cerebral palsy. At this stage in her life she is completely bed ridden, and struggles to communicate. Everyday she is in a crazy amount of pain, and I actually witnessed her reduced to tears during the first few minutes of our visit, it was heartbreaking. But her spirit and willingness to be grateful was infectious. I suddenly became aware of my own selfishness, how could I be so ungrateful? Here I am, a healthy 23 year old woman about to graduate from college with the rest of my life ahead of me and I’m feeling sorry for myself. I felt ashamed and heartbroken. I need to make a change. But it has to be a change that I will stick to....I’ll keep you posted.
Love,
Alayna
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